Why are men obsessed with women obsessed with ‘Heated Rivalry’?
On who owns the romance genre and what's actually being fetishized in everyone's favorite gay hockey show
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Back in 2020, two horny literary adaptations sent the TV-viewing public into an absolute fervor. In the spring, Normal People pushed the boundaries for onscreen sex—popularizing the term “intimacy coordinator,” developing an entire fandom around Connell’s chain necklace, and launching a parasocial obsession with Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones’ IRL relationship that still continues to this day. “How do I get over Normal People?” one Reddit thread begged as Mescal went on to become not just “the internet’s boyfriend” but one of the most acclaimed, in-demand actors in Hollywood.
Eight months later, the debut of Bridgerton somehow managed to top that. Released on Christmas Day, the steamy Regency-era romance quickly became Netflix’s most-watched original series, kicking off an entire “Regencycore” fashion trend and inspiring an unofficial TikTok musical adaptation that would go on to win a Grammy. “The Duke” became synonymous with the platonic ideal of a tall, dark, and handsome romantic lead. And star Regé-Jean Page was tapped to host Saturday Night Live by Valentine’s Day weekend.
At the time, there was plenty of semi-loving, semi-mocking coverage about how these shows played in the sex-starved peak of the pandemic. (I’ve found a dozen articles just about the Connell’s chain phenomenon alone—including a full Vox explainer.) But no one seemed to question why Normal People and Bridgerton were so popular with women. In fact, it was taken as a given that these sexy, brooding romances were primarily aimed at female audiences and that their male leads would become the breakout stars—that’s pretty much how the romance genre has always operated.
It’s been fascinating, then, to see how differently the world responded when Heated Rivalry joined that sexy TV romance lineage. Suddenly, the idea that women might like a romance show has become the psychological pop culture query of our time. New York Magazine just published a cover story asking “Why are so many women losing their minds over gay smut? A tour through the fujoshi universe.” Vulture shared “A Brief History of Slash Fiction: The horny girls who walked so Heated Rivalry could run.” The New York Times made a video asking, “Why Are Women Falling For Heated Rivalry?” Even Connor Storrie’s (very charming!) SNL monologue joked about the straight women who love the show—a continuation of questions he, co-star Hudson Williams, and creator Jacob Tierney have been thoughtfully answering since before the series even became a breakout hit.
We all learn things on our own timelines, of course, but as someone who’s devoted much of my career to the romance genre and my entire lifetime to the wide spectrum of “girl culture,” all this soul-searching is kind of making me feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s as if I woke up to a bunch of prominent pop culture sites suddenly wringing their hands over why straight men like football or gay men like pop divas. Something I’ve taken as a cultural given is suddenly being treated like a singularity to be studied. (Was no one on Tumblr during the SuperWhoLock era?) And while there are some interesting things to unpack in the question of why women love Heated Rivalry, I think why that question is being asked now and who is asking it is even more fascinating.
Still, let’s start with the women half of the equation first. I’ve actually seen quite a lot of psychoanalyzing from straight women themselves about why they like the show—including the idea that there’s no gendered power imbalance at play or threat of misogynistic violence to tarnish the love story. But while I’m sure that is a factor for some viewers, I feel like everyone is kind of overthinking this one. Straight women like Heated Rivalry because it stars hot, sensitive guys doing sexy things, which is the formula that’s fueled basically every breakout romantic hit from Pride and Prejudice to The Summer I Turned Pretty. Queer women like the show because it sensitively renders the queer experience. And women as a whole like the show because women have always been the primary market for the romance genre.
I don’t know how that fact has gotten lost in the shuffle considering we invented the term “chick flick” just to explain that women enjoy stories with an earnest romantic emotionality in a way men often don’t. But in a world where romance novels (gay and straight!) are overwhelming written and consumed by women—including Heated Rivalry author Rachel Reid—it makes sense that female audiences would be as drawn to a gay hockey show as they are to Bridgerton and Normal People and One Day and People We Meet On Vacation and Red, White & Royal Blue.
So why are men suddenly baffled by women enjoying the romance genre? Part of it comes down to the very different ways people understand representation. Baked into the question is the assumption that when women watch something, they only ever relate to the female characters onscreen and therefore if they’re watching two men fall in love they must be fetishistic observers peering into the gay zoo. But I’d argue that predominantly relating to or caring about characters of your gender is a male privilege that women have never really had.